Thoughts are relentless footsteps through my consciousness from the moment I wake up in the morning until I close my eyes at night. If I’m not careful, I can get stuck on a thought and start to create a reality based on that thought that simply is not real. Some thoughts create a warmth that can be delightful, like gratitude for the day or for precious relationships, or for my sacred space called home. But sometimes the thoughts are memories, painful ones that encroach on moments of joy. Sometimes the thoughts are plans for something that has yet to happen – a doctor’s appointment, grocery shopping, or a telephone conference. In each moment, the thoughts are not things; I cannot touch, see, taste or hear anything that would make thoughts real and concrete. Yet, I can easily give those thoughts attention and in an instant believe that a mere thought is a thing. When I make a thought a thing, I begin to believe something that is not true in the moment. I can become anxious or even depressed, disappointed or regretful. I can begin to label my experience connected to the thought, and become angry or frustrated. My thoughts literally take on a life of their own. Most of the time, thoughts just pass through the mind, but once and a while we allow ourselves to attach to a thought and out of fear or anticipation try to make it real. There’s an alternative to those attachments. We can just let the thoughts come and go, without becoming interested in making the thoughts things.
When we relax into the present moment, we allow thoughts to be just thoughts, and release the need for action. We can rest in the notion that thoughts can be precursors to action but thoughts are nothing but energy. We can rarely stop thinking, because the energy of the universe is abundant and continuous, flowing freely. When we breathe deeply in moments of silence, thoughts make a brief visit in our mind, and then disappear, as easily as they appear. Then there is no fear or panic or anxiety about the future or the past, because we live and breathe and have our being in the present moment.

According to leading neuroscientists, neuropsychologists and brain researchers, about 50% of our capacity to feel happy is genetic; that’s bad news, if we believe that the brain is fixed. Actually the brain has plasticity — it’s changeable. That 50% can often give us a propensity to feel sad or to attach gloomy feelings to our life conditions. Often those worrisome “sadness” genes surface in our response to challenging situations. We have a “negativity bias” encouraged by a number of life stressors that can lead us to blame and a sense of victimhood. But we need not be imprisoned by our genetics. If we allow our awareness to heighten with meditative practice, and see clearly the life we are experiencing, we can change our thoughts with dramatic changes in our brain chemistry.

Even though we are genetically coded, according to researchers, to react to negative situations by moving toward it (fight), moving away (flight), becoming immobile (freeze) or losing emotional voice (fawn), change is possible. In other words, we fight, flee, freeze or fawn in response to a perceived threat to our well-being. The problem is that we believe our own stories about these challenges. Instead of being simply aware of what happens in our lives, we attach meaning to events, and then focus on our fears. We default to the highly charged emotions in our brain and throughout our bodies, even when there is no palpable threat.

Another 10% of our capacity to feel happy is thwarted by a belief that life conditions are unchangeable. But everything changes, everything is temporary, and life conditions do not define us unless we allow them to linger in our awareness. The part of our brain that provides reason and logic gets lost in our impulsivity in the face of challenges. Like pouring ink into a container of water, everything gets “colored” by the flood of fear into our evaluations of a life condition. When we face our fears, they lose their power, a power to disturb our “peace of mind.”

But here’s the good news, nearly 40% of our capacity to feel happy can be driven by awareness of the nature of our being, and by the comfort derived from gratitude, forgiveness, appreciation, compassion and mindfulness. The gifts of awareness also include acknowledging and cherishing relationships. When we acknowledge that we are one spirit, a sense of peace is inevitable. If we give up the notion of separateness from others, we become open to joy. Being still in the present moment with who we are has a healing effect on us all.

Beyond happiness is joy. When we find joy our molecules change. We realize that we are loving spirits and that who we are is enough. We realize that finding joy and feeling happy are ways to experience the divine within us.

Lonely and puzzled, a man joined a group to explore improvements in his interpersonal and relationship skills. During one of the group meetings, he described his estranged partner as argumentative, combative, caustic and self-centered. He himself had a history of negative life experiences allowing anger to consume him in the form of an addiction to food. His pronouncements about his partner were artful projections, painful rejections of his own imperfections. One tends to “slap” another with one hand, but two hands are needed for an embrace. Friendship requires two hands.
A beautifully simple Nigerian proverb is “Hold a true friend with both hands.” It seems that true friends must be handled with care, not because they are fragile, but because they are connected to us at the heart. We are more attracted to their innocent core than to their exterior “faults.” We want them to rest comfortably in our consciousness, so we honor them with patience and positivity. We offer affirmation rather than confrontation. We focus on what lies within us as friends moreso than what drives our differences. We are less interested in being right, and more interested in being kind. We are less demanding and more responsive. We are able to embrace our vulnerability without fear of being judged. We open our hearts and instead of feeling exposed, we feel loved.
What lies at our heart center is the sacred love of Spirit, our true nature. When we hold a true friend with both hands we more clearly recognize who we are.

Most of the human body is space and water, yet we see each other as solid bodies moving around. At the quantum level our molecules are spinning at great speeds to make us appear solid. Our egos need our molecules to spin wildly, so that we will believe in our own existence. Without space, there would be no place for us to “be.” But our being-ness needs no space. As so often is stated, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. As spiritual beings, our bodies are expendable.

The continuation of our physical appearance in life is dependent upon water. With this idea in mind, I was curious about the recent discovery of an “ocean” of water deep below the earth’s surface. Scientists call it the “hidden ocean.” Reportedly, it is three times the size of oceans on the surface of the earth, and believed to be the source of our visible oceans.

There is a reservoir of truth hidden just below the surface of our everyday lives. When we become aware of who we are as spiritual beings, we no longer thirst for significance or attention, or even love. We know that Spirit is who we are, that we always have an endless flow of abundant love and compassion, and that the source of our love is deep within.

Howard Thurman, a mystical theologian, had many explorations into the nature of Spirit and the universe. He was particularly interested in the concept that out of nothing something is created. In the King James Version of the Bible, in the Gospel of Mark, there is a recognition of this concept: “For the earth bringeth forth fruit of herself; first the blade, then the ear, after that the full corn in the ear.” Perhaps a seed made the fruit possible, but from where did the seed come? If we trace origins of everything, we will ultimately arrive at “no-thing.” Origins thrust us into the illusory past, encouraging us to see life as a series of events. There is no origin to love, just as there is no origin of energy. There is no beginning of life and no ending of life, just a continuation, in another form. Life flows with the energy of Spirit.
In the same way, love simply is. Love bears fruit of itself: With a simple gesture of gratitude, and with lovingkindness and compassion for others, our awareness of a loving universe emerges. The process is without origin – there is no beginning and no end. Out of nothing, love lives and breathes and has meaning in the present moment.

The following is a conversation between Nama and Rafe, mythical characters in a play called life. Rafe has been seeking answers to many questions, but the questions about death have plagued him on his many journeys. Nama is an ancient loving spirit, known for her wise words. Rafe has come to Nama as a last resort, seeking the secrets of life and death.

Rafe: I will not survive this life. I will surely die one day.
Nama: You will transform, and thrive in your transformed expression.
Rafe: You say that with little emotion. Death is a terrifying thought.
Nama: We have the capacity to train our thoughts, to tame the mind that leads us to untrue thoughts. We are eternal beings, we do not die. Death is an untrue thought, generated by a fearful mind.
Rafe: That’s easy for you to say. I feel like a sitting duck. I could die at any moment. How can I prevent this?
Nama: A sitting duck enjoys sitting. It just sits, not worrying about what will happen next. The duck sits, walks or waddles, as you say, gathers its young, protects its young, swims and quacks. It does more that simply sit. It lives its life.
Rafe: The duck does not know that it will die, so it’s oblivious to the pain and suffering of death.
Nama: You do not know that you are living, because of your preoccupation with dying.
Rafe: I cannot get it out of my mind. There are reminders everywhere – the media, my friends and family, even road kill. It’s everywhere.
Nama: Beyond what we see, hear or even feel is a way of being that is peaceful and calm. Be still. We must see through the veil of reality to what is true. In Truth we live and breathe and have our being. Trust that your life has purpose, and that you have an inextricable relationship with all in the universe. As such, if you were to die, the entire universe would have to follow suit. The wave and the sea are one. There is no separation. The universe is alive, it’s thriving and expanding, scattering joy. You are the earth, the skies, the planet, everything. Know this and be conscious of the brilliant light of life beyond your mind’s fearful alarms.

When we point a finger towards something, do we focus on what we are pointing to, or do we focus on the finger alone? Throughout the ages, men, women and children have pointed to the truth of our reality, and we have worshipped their finger. As guides, they have taught us with stories, with parables, with puzzles and poetry, and with their own experiences of life and death, but we have become enamored of them and sacrificed their message.
Each guide has pointed to our inner divinity, our oneness with all life, and the centrality of love in our life. Each has given a name to our experience of love and given us a glimpse of eternal life. None has encouraged us to divide and hate. None has taught us to choose the deathly option of separating ourselves from others, because of what they believe. None has lost themselves in the message. None has been ashamed of who they are and made others wrong because of their self-hatred. None has shunned others in the belief that they were somehow better than others. None has denied their divinity, their oneness with all of the universe. Each has been a loving spirit, believing that what they were pointing to was enough.

Everything in life comes and goes. This thought can be terrifying until we realize that the temporary nature of life is the reason life continues. If everything we perceive in our world were to remain the same, we would not experience the changing of the seasons, the splendid display of flowers, the births of babies, the beginnings of friendships and the end of suffering. Change is a constant we can embrace, as long as we don’t allow ourselves to get too attached to whatever or whomever comes into our life. But we don’t embrace the loss of loved ones or friends because we have caught a glimpse of ourselves in them, and in losing them we believe that we lose a part of ourselves. If we are one spirit, one love, nothing is lost, just transformed. Nothing has gone anywhere, because the only real place is here,now. Love simply is. Love does not come and go, it expresses relentlessly as the essence of our being. When we embrace the loving essence of all we love, we are transformed.