Researcher Ruth Chang believes that hard choices are opportunities to give meaning to what is important to us. Hillary Clinton believes apparently that diplomatic dilemmas are characteristically hard choices. But the challenges in our lives are played out in the heart. When we are faced with a dilemma, the heart is the ultimate arbiter. How does it feel? Will my choice end well or badly? Will I be loved, feared or rejected? Will I experience regret or relief? Is it morally right? What message will I send with this choice?
The heart bears witness to our thoughts and beliefs, the only aspects of control in our lives. The great philosopher Epictetus dramatically challenged his contemporaries with this simple question: “What do you control?” The plausible answer: We control our beliefs–fueled by our repetitive thoughts. What we believe about the nature of our being, who we really are, and what our relationship with the universal spirit is, creates the platform for our choices. We are driven by that which breathes at the core of our being, but we must remember who we are in order to gain access to it. The difficulty in so-called hard choices is remembering that we exist in the present, and that neither the past nor the future have power in the present.
What we do not control is a longer list: our body, what others think, our reputation, the economy, the fact that we all die, our job, etc. When we surrender the illusion of control over those aspects of life that we cannot control, we release the yoke of suffering and enjoy the freedom of now. So, the hard choices are really heart choices, created out of the fabric of our being, and woven into the response to challenges that aligns with our beliefs.
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nine principles for joy 
Yes, and Thanks Again for a beautiful question and answer. From the Quran, Hard Trials Purify, indeed this condition reveals our essential self who we really are when all the veneer of intellect, physical strength, and boasts are laid low. The fabric of our heart is laid bare. Transparency becomes an emergent property of Principles in Action. Finally, we are triangulated in such a way that we cannot be other than our self. Freedom,
Worthy is he who is the master of both pain and pleasure. He neither fears nor is he persuaded, but of himself affects all things. For truly is the way of the true man. Brother Gregory, 7th Level.
Religious traditions and wisdom often speak with one voice in matters of the truth of our being. Choices are made at the heart level because of our beliefs, but actually even the idea of choice is a limitation we place on ourselves. Just as peace lies in having no opinion, transcending pain and pleasure lies in letting go of illusions of mastery of anything.
Beautiful. Maybe in completely letting go of all false limitations, as well as false beliefs of control, we can for a short time find peace within ourselves.
Remembering who I am has been a thought provoking idea for me lately. Am I really the kind of person I believed I was? Is anyone? Can we ever really be the same person for any length of time. I am not sure we can we are constantly making choices and experiencing things that change us. If the person we are changes all the time it can be a good thing but does it give us a chance to ever truly know ourselves?
Thank goodness (God-ness) for change. The changes we experience are the best testimony for eternal life. Stagnant things “die.”