I am sometimes tempted to blame a series of unfortunate or traumatic events in my life for my feelings of sadness or anxiety. I may for a moment feel justified in believing my untrue thoughts about what I think is happening to me. I may allow myself to feel deep sadness at the passing away of my daughter, sisters and friends, or I may surrender to the stress of managing a home, business, health and relationships. Life conditions can be challenging, but we have options in how we perceive and respond to those challenges.
The challenging conditions are fearful projections or painful memories, arising from a fearful place called past or future. But in the present moment, all is well, so from the experience of the present moment, we can breathe with the coolness of peace. The French have a name for the unflappable calm under pressure, called “sangfroid,” but in the context of the present moment, a Zen metaphorical story illustrates what I call cool breath poignantly.
Long ago, in a monastery, monks meditated consistently and peacefully. One day a message spread through the monastery that Samurai warriors had burned a nearby village and were heading toward the monastery. The usually introspective monks became uncharacteristically afraid and decided to flee the monastery in search of caves where they could be safe. But one monk remained, unfazed by the news, and continued to be in the present moment with deep sitting meditation. Soon the entire monastery was empty, and warriors approached, determined to destroy anything and anyone in their path. The monk sat quietly as a warrior finally entered the monastery. The warrior approached the monk and said, “Old man, you sit here meditating, but don’t you know that I could run you through with my sword without blinking an eye?” The monk opened his eyes, looked up and met the fiery eyes of the warrior, and said, ” Don’t you know that I could be run through with your sword without blinking an eye?” At that moment, the warrior fell to his knees in the presence of cool breath and as the story goes understood the meaning of enlightenment (full awareness of the nature of being).
Coolness under the pressure of conditions is possible when we know who we are, and when we know that our fears are our own possessions. Some “past” experiences that we bring into the present, threaten our sense of safety or status quo. We shudder to think that life could change in the next moment that we call the “future,” so we either fight with those long-gone experiences, attempt to flee from the present, or become paralyzed by the fear of a repeated rejection or failure in the future.
When we become still in the present moment, give up our need to control conditions, a need which instantly creates an attachment to outcomes, we can allow conditions to appear and disappear, to emerge and dissolve, to come and go as they always do. The universe is naturally self-organizing and evolving. We can witness our thoughts without attempting to make them real. Be still. Allow the thoughts and feelings to rise and fall, but give up the attachment to them as real and permanent. I realize that I am not what appears in my life; I am a witness and the experiencer of impermanence in life. In the blink of an eye, life changes.