Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace. -Buddha

Can we really talk our way to peace? I believe that peace talks in the international sense are really negotiation sessions, where leaders weigh their options and resources, and then decide what will be the best deal. The words in negotiation are “how much?”
In relationships between friends, family or lovers peace emerges when there is compassion for hurts, kindness during periods of struggle or challenges, and forgiveness for imagined slights or indiscretions. The words are usually “I understand, I support you, or I forgive you.”
One word that flows through all the peaceful overtures is “love.”
Beyond all attempts to articulate peace through negotiation, support or forgiveness of another person or group is the powerful energy of love. Expressed in individuals who one by one create a peaceful reality, the universal energy of love exists at the core of our being. When we listen to others, the beauty of peace rushes into our awareness and transforms our view of others. We then realize that we are all good to the core. We recognize love’s unspoken power.

Criticism is an immense gift for those who are interested in self-realization. – Byron Katie

Sometimes it’s so hard to admit it but when someone criticizes me, there is often something worthwhile that I can make friends with if I look into the mirror closely. After some moments of reflection, I will often say, “Well, yes, that’s me.” The more I avoid recognizing myself as happily imperfect, the more I sulk about the person who affronted me. Thank goodness I have had challenges in life, and sometimes made poor choices. How else would I know that life is good and all situations are temporary? How would I know that all things that come and go are not really me anyway? How would I be OK with where I’ve been, and realize that “now” is the only thing that matters? Fall in love with what you call your faults. When you do, they lose their power over your present joy!

Learning to Fail

I’m learning a shaolin tai chi practice that includes qi gong exercises, Kung Fu, yoga and movement of energy throughout my body for greater flexibility and health. The operative word here is “learning.” I practiced another form of tai chi about 15 years ago, but now it seems as if I never learned a thing. Glimpses of my former teaching arise in my memory, now and then, but most of the time I am a novice. Learning as a novice requires a kind of humility that is both frustrating and rewarding. The humility obviously emerges when I keep making mistakes, forget what I was just told, forget the sequence of moves, or just feel silly. The reward of this humility comes from letting go of fear and “how I look to others.” Performance is a show for others, literally! When I let go of my need for perfect performance, I experience compassion. I remember that the journey of a learner is rocky but a teacher will appear, a guide along the way, who knows what to avoid and what to cherish. The teacher or sifu helps me to embrace constructive dependency. I no longer need to know everything, but I am confident that I know something. I am learning to integrate the moves into my being, slowly, allowing myself to trip a few times along the road. When I am present in the moment, my breath moves me flowing into the next movement of chi. But, when I am more interested in what others in the class may think of my slow progress, I am unkind to myself. Compassion for others in similar situations is impossible unless I face and appreciate my own challenges. When I learn to fail I free up a space in my heart to accept myself. I become more than what I can do, and rest in the comfort of being who I am.

Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so. John Stuart Mill

Everyone that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in everyone. – 1John 4:16

A person who wants to do good knocks at the gate; a person who loves finds the gate open. – Tagore

When we experience the sufferings of others as our own and respond in love, we are acting from compassion.- Laurence Boldt

For the Great Spirit is everywhere. He hears whatever is in our minds and hearts; it is not necessary to speak to Him in a loud voice. -Black Elk

It is our self-assessments that open us to further pain. The Ashanti have said, If an arrow has not entered, then its removal is not hard.

Life can be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards – Kierkegaard