I am sometimes tempted to blame a series of unfortunate or traumatic events in my life for my feelings of sadness or anxiety. I may for a moment feel justified in believing my untrue thoughts about what I think is happening to me. I may allow myself to feel deep sadness at the passing away of my daughter, sisters and friends, or I may surrender to the stress of managing a home, business, health and relationships. Life conditions can be challenging, but we have options in how we perceive and respond to those challenges.
The challenging conditions are fearful projections or painful memories, arising from a fearful place called past or future. But in the present moment, all is well, so from the experience of the present moment, we can breathe with the coolness of peace. The French have a name for the unflappable calm under pressure, called “sangfroid,” but in the context of the present moment, a Zen metaphorical story illustrates what I call cool breath poignantly.
Long ago, in a monastery, monks meditated consistently and peacefully. One day a message spread through the monastery that Samurai warriors had burned a nearby village and were heading toward the monastery. The usually introspective monks became uncharacteristically afraid and decided to flee the monastery in search of caves where they could be safe. But one monk remained, unfazed by the news, and continued to be in the present moment with deep sitting meditation. Soon the entire monastery was empty, and warriors approached, determined to destroy anything and anyone in their path. The monk sat quietly as a warrior finally entered the monastery. The warrior approached the monk and said, “Old man, you sit here meditating, but don’t you know that I could run you through with my sword without blinking an eye?” The monk opened his eyes, looked up and met the fiery eyes of the warrior, and said, ” Don’t you know that I could be run through with your sword without blinking an eye?” At that moment, the warrior fell to his knees in the presence of cool breath and as the story goes understood the meaning of enlightenment (full awareness of the nature of being).
Coolness under the pressure of conditions is possible when we know who we are, and when we know that our fears are our own possessions. Some “past” experiences that we bring into the present, threaten our sense of safety or status quo. We shudder to think that life could change in the next moment that we call the “future,” so we either fight with those long-gone experiences, attempt to flee from the present, or become paralyzed by the fear of a repeated rejection or failure in the future.
When we become still in the present moment, give up our need to control conditions, a need which instantly creates an attachment to outcomes, we can allow conditions to appear and disappear, to emerge and dissolve, to come and go as they always do. The universe is naturally self-organizing and evolving. We can witness our thoughts without attempting to make them real. Be still. Allow the thoughts and feelings to rise and fall, but give up the attachment to them as real and permanent. I realize that I am not what appears in my life; I am a witness and the experiencer of impermanence in life. In the blink of an eye, life changes.
Tag Archives: the present moment
Allowing Awe
How often have you experienced awe, the emotion that is a combination of both fear and appreciation? After several experiences, I have become awe prone, allowing myself to experience the “dilation of my imagination” and fullness of being. Awe has opened the door to the complex admixture of probing life’s mysteries while basking in the beingness of the present moment.
One such awe experience occurred one night while I was on an airplane, more than 30 thousand feet above ground, when the pilot, in an excited voice, announced that there was a “light show” on the left side of the plane. I quickly looked out of the airplane window, feeling lucky that I was seated on the left side and therefore able to see the spectacle clearly. The lightning flashed brilliantly from what seemed like only a few hundred feet away. The “show” was truly “awesome” or awful- both ways of describing it are appropriate. My response was a combination of immediate fright with no possibility of escape, and deep, abiding fascination with the sheer power and beauty of nature’s energy. Then suddenly I had an inspired sense of reverence for the energy of the universe, even though in that moment I still experienced the lightning as outside myself. But soon, I realized that I AM THAT universe and that lightning, one with all in the universe, so then I felt both love and humility. Awe changes how we think of the “outside” world; it changes how we experience the present moment of our life.
Another experience of awe occurred when I stood stunned on the edge of the Grand Canyon. It’s difficult to escape the awe of seeing the vast beauty of that approximately 17 million year old magnificence. My smallness once again produced appreciation but my thoughts turned quickly to the dangers and mysteries that could lie within the Canyon. The size of the colorful valley alone is overwhelming, but mysteries about the Canyon raise questions about the entire universe. The Canyon is mystical, like a hologram of our Galaxy filled with mysteries of the universe. As Albert Einstein said,” The most beautiful and most profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical.”
But I don’t visit the Grand Canyon or fly through or around lighting on a regular basis. The rarity of those events do not preclude the emergence of opportunities to allow awe. My great niece provides opportunities. She is a 6 year old gymnast who flips and jumps with awesome agility and flexibility on high beams, parallel bars and floor mats. I watch her practice with all the protective fearfulness that she lacks in her embracing of adventure. I am in awe of the heart in her practice, and the mysteries and capabilities of the human body. She is universal energy in vivid motion.
There are countless opportunities to allow awe in my life. From the brilliance of a sunset from my deck to watching the grateful flowers in my garden turn their faces toward the morning rain. Nature is a relentless source of awe, whether it is witnessing the stoic growth of plants or trees or the complementarity of land and sea, we can connect with their beauty and their power. To the extent that we see and feel our oneness with nature, we cannot escape being in awe. Being in communion with all of life deepens our sense of the infinite.
Awe raises questions with no easy answers, but the questions make our lives an evolving story rather than a stale tale of suffering and challenges. In difficult times, awe rescues us from despair because we see beyond the conditions in our lives to how the challenges themselves can reveal unsolved mysteries. Awe, the brief experience of joy and love, can create what Dr. Paul Pearsall described as “unbounded delight, humbling dread and excited incredulousness.”
If we want to see the fullness of the present moment, awe is the lens. Allow awe to disrupt the illusion of certainty, the routine nature of a life of doing and activity, and move deeply into being and thriving as the spirit that you are.
nine principles for joy 